I have battled with my own personal ambition for a long time. I was raised to cultivate and use ambition to achieve. Through achievement, and external recognition of that achievement, I would find satisfaction and fulfillment. The more I achieved and was recognized for that achievement, the greater my sense of satisfaction, and, thus, the greater my sense of fulfillment would become. Or so I was led to believe.
Achieving does provide a certain level of satisfaction and fulfillment. But achievement, catalyzed by ambition, can lead to more ego driven pursuits. For example, the desire to publicize one's achievements as a way to ensure others are aware, and in awe of, your accomplishments. The acquisition of wealth, luxury, or fame for personal satisfaction is another example. I have come to realize this ubiquitous and too often accepted American social paradigm leads to a life of ever-increasing emptiness and disappointment.
Most people with a high level of ambition focus on the end result of whatever achievement or task they put their mind to. If the end result does not fit within their frame of expectation, they become disappointed. If that end result exceeds their frame of expectation, they are, at a minimum, reluctantly satisfied, at a maximum, arrogant and over-confident. Ambition drives people to be results oriented. They chase the ghost of perfection becoming dissatisfied when they cannot catch it. Eventually, the process by which they attempt to attain their perfect result becomes frustrating, tiresome, or uninteresting. Yet they continue to push through it, dissatisfied and unhappy, in the vain hope of achieving their perfect result.
Aikido has taught me that perfection in life is unattainable. The point of aikido (or any martial art for that matter) is not to attain perfection in technique. It is to strive for perfection in technique. (Attaining anything close to perfection is just a bonus.) Progressively striving for perfection, in whatever endeavor you may choose, when done with proper guidance and tempering, builds (some would say "polishes") the character of the practitioner...and that is the ultimate purpose of practicing a martial art (more on this controversial point in another post).
To live a truly fulfilling life, I have learned one must enjoy this process of striving for perfection. The end result of an action or activity is relatively insignificant to the amount of effort it takes to attain it. It just simply makes more sense to glean satisfaction from the act of striving for the perfect result than to allow oneself to be disappointed by the perpetual failure to attain it.
12 comments:
Uh, I thought this was a martial arts blog... What are we talking about here? Ambition and accomplishment writ large or only as they pertain to the martial arts?
I have added another paragraph (next to last). Hope this clears it up.
Oooh. That is a controversial point. I personally do't believe the ultimate point of the Martial Arts is the perfection or even the polishing of character. The ultimate point of martial art is to win a fight. Otherwise, it could be any other movement art. It could be yoga for God's sake which seems to produce nothing but flexible bodies and inflexible minds. All the other great stuff that you get is a side effect and only a side effect if you practice the arts earnestly. Let's take confidence for an instance. MA teachers all say that MA teaches confidence. Well, at whatever level it is able to do this, it does it because the practitioner thinks he can fight or at very least defend himself. Most of the time, this isn't true particularly if the practitioner has practiced polishing his character and not his ability to fight. Being able to win a fight and knowing a MA are two different things. The MA, if it doesn't succeed at making you better at the fight, has no purpose and the other stuff that comes with it is just fluff.
Also, you have to draw the distinction between being able to fight and defend yourself. One's pretty easy. The other takes study. Add to this the ability to defend others and it gets even more complicated.
You have to remember that when Uyeshiba Sensei started aikido in the 50's, his students were all already fighters. They were the bad asses of their day. Their dojo was known as the "Hell Dojjo" because training was so rough. If you can find some of the old films of their training, you'll see what I mean. Aikido is a great graduate course in MA. If you can already fight, it makes sense. Otherwise, you are learning a movement form with institutional norms all its own and nothing about fighting.
Does that matter? I think it does. MA has to different from doing yoga, pilates or just going to the gym or they as a whole mean nothing.
I found your post most interesting, and it has further kindled my interest in studying martial arts--especially reading Kahuna's comments. Perhaps it's totally unrelated and unworthy of your interests, but I couldn't resist replying, asking some questions, after reading the "American" bit. After all, the pursuit of happiness in acquiring things is about as old as the hills. If happiness is what we all are looking for, and who isn't, then attaining and having "things" (even skills) are always empty pursuits--there is always "more" to get. Are you settling for the idea of striving as a subsitute for having, when having and striving are equally pointless? The wisdom of the ages (in the Western world anyway) suggests that happiness is the unsought by-product of living virtuously, i.e. "doing" the right thing, not having the right thing. And that generally comes down to acting with understanding, courage, prudence, and justice. You have obviously given a lot of thought to these things, and you may well be familiar with Aristotle's treatise on happiness (the Ethics) for instance, or with the wisdom literature of the Bible, and I have only read this one post of yours! So I apologize for my pedantry! Couldn't resist throwing in my two cents. Best wishes!
Kahuna-
Thanks for the post.
I will address your issue in a a future post.
D.O.-
I appreciate the comment...welcome.
I would disagree with your point that the act of striving is pointless. One must strive to be virtuous. If one did not have to strive to be virtuous, then the whole of ethics and, by some accounts, religion, would lack a fundamental purpose: to provide people an outline for how to live a virtuous life. (for example, the 10 Commandments) If we all lived virtuously by default, there would be no need for the existance of criminal law. And I would argue that the by-product of virtuous living are only possible through proper striving towards a virtuous life. To covet the beautiful wife of one's neighbor is human nature. To not act on those impulses is considered virtuous by most accounts...and that takes a certain amount of effort.
This effort cultivates a virtuous character and, like a muscle, the more your exercise it, the more the character takes on the properties of virtue.
Learning to enjoy the striving (where most of the effort lies) is the key to cultivating a higher level of virtue. Otherwise, attempting to live virtuously, while hating the act of doing so, will lead to resentment of the self and ultimately despair.
I welcome any thoughts...
I don't know if I agree with this. I will have to think further about it but at first glance, I'd have to disagree. Effort doesn't produce virtue anymore than practice makes perfect. As you know, practice makes habits and I believe cultivating the proper habits are teh key to success. I don't think virtue is not acting on your adulterous feelings. Virtue is not having them to begin with. If virtue is simply resistance against something tempting than we as humans are doomed because we will always eventually give in. Every man has his limits. Virtue must mean something different it seems to me. Just as martial arts are about training the proper instincts so that they become habits and you don't have to think about them. In fact, if taught properly, I think that is the true gift of budo-- it is a practical methodology for turning ideas into embodied action.
But as a whole, I tend to agree with the Dumb Ox. Further, is it possible to appear virtuous without actually being virtuous? Of course it is. It is also easy to lord your pursuit of virtue over others who may not be as successful. That surely can't be virtuous either. I remember what someone said once about Robert E. Lee-- that he was a perfect gentleman because he had no vices but allowed you yours. No-- I think virtue is an either/or situation. You adopt a virtuous way of being and when virtue becomes habit, you are a virtuous person. Through my body, teach my mind.
Despite all this, I know what you're trying to say. When I think back to what enjoy about the various sports teams that I've been on, it's always the practices I remember more vividly than the competition. Most would say that's the reason, I excelled-- that I simply just loved to practice that activity. I think that applies to acquiring a physical skill. Virtue is something different. You have to come at it more obliquely, I think.
Kahuna: we are saying exactly the same thing. To strive is to practice and it is this that one must come to love...not the result of practice.
A few responses:
"I don't think virtue is not acting on your adulterous feelings. Virtue is not having them to begin with."
-Not having adulterous thoughts at all would be the perfection of virtue. We both have agreed perfection of anything is impossible. So recognizing that you are having these non-virtuous thoughts and making decisions with regard to them in accordance with virtuous behavior is as close as we can get to perfect virtue. By making the virtuous decision over and over again (ie. striving), it becomes habit. This does not mean it becomes perfect virtue. If it did, you would never have to make a virtuous decision because your virtue would be inherent, ie. perfect virtue.
"Further, is it possible to appear virtuous without actually being virtuous?"
-No. I believe this question to be non-sensical. The extent of your integrity, ie. virtue, is controlled by you and only apparent to you. It does not matter what others see as it will never be the whole truth. In any event, to use artiface, a non-virtuous behavior, to attempt to convey virtue defies virtue and is thus non-virtuous.
"You adopt a virtuous way of being and when virtue becomes habit, you are a virtuous person. Through my body, teach my mind."
-Exactly. That is how you "polish the character". Going to the gym, playing golf, practicing yoga, previous examples you provided, do not fall into this catagory. You cannot take someone's life through the act of yoga, playing golf, or going to the gym. Martial arts is just that...martial. It is a system of fighting. With it, you can do great harm. We have talked about this before. Choosing not to do great harm even though you can do great harm is virtuous behavior if the outcome benefits all. Indiscriminate use of force solves nothing. Just because you have the ability does not mean you should use it. It is exactly this that you and the others tried to instill into the individuals involved in WS. To have the ability to influence a situation and chose not to is a much different senario than NOT having the ability to influence a situation at all. Then you have no choice. You must comply to whatever the situation dictates. None of your other examples (yoga, going to the gym) can relate to this concept in the way the martial arts can.
Perfection is such a difficult word. I don't have a place for it in my operating vocabulary. However, I don't think that the absence of adulterous thoughts are the perfection of virtue. I don't believe that every man thinks of adultery all the time. It is certainly possible to appreciate the beauty of another woman without wanting to sleep with her. I am not married so you can perhaps speak more authoritatively on this than I can. If I can train my body to fall with my chin tucked in habitually even when I'm unconscious, I can surely train myself not to harbour adulterous thoughts.
I think practice is different than striving though. Stiving infers some end result-- that you're trying to improve. I'm talking about just enjoying the activity without worrying about whether or not you improve. That's really difficult for guys like us but it's possible just as mushin is possible. I'd like to think that my students don't have to worry about striving. They only have to enjoy the activity and do what I say. If they do that, they'll improve. Whether or not they improve is my responsibility. Their responsibililty to is to follow my instructions.
Of course you can appear virtuous without actually being virtuous. Look at all the very many pastors and priests that have fallen into scandal. Their moral authority comes from the fact that they live their lives closer to God than the common man. Were that not so, nobody would listen to them. What can a priest who sins more that you do tell you about living without it? But before they were caught, their congregations all generally considered errant priests virtuous. What you say about integrity is true but I said "appear virtuous" which is decided by others, not "is virtuous" which is decided by the agent. People can certainly and mistakenly regard a virtuous man as evil. Why not the other way around?
I think I've been pretty clear about the failure of yoga to provide benefits beyond the physical. Whatever calm the yoga practitioner gains through his practice is easily shattered making the study rather pointless in my opinion (beyond the physical). Polish the character infers some sort of moral value which I don't believe the martial arts impart. It depends on what you come to the arts with. Like Joshua Chamberlain said, "War is the ultimate test of character. It makes good men better and bad men worse." I think that's true of martial arts too. Practicing aikido will not make you a better person. It will make you more of what you already are.
Let's no to far down a rabbit hole here...we all know what perfection is even though we might not be able to attain.
"I don't believe that every man thinks of adultery all the time."
-I never said this. I used adulterous thoughts as an example of being faced with a momentary test of one's ethical, morale, virtuous (whatever you want to call it) character, or lack thereof for that matter. Of course you can train yourself not to have adulterous thoughts (or any other morally questionable behavior. That has been my entire point through all these posts!
"I think practice is different than striving though. Stiving infers some end result-- that you're trying to improve."
-You are going down another rabbit hole here (SF has you starved for good argument doesn't it?). Why the hell would you practice if not for some end result, ie. maintain a skill, improve a skill, enjoying the activity, whatever. It is this process of improvement through striving, practice, whatever, that should be enjoyed and not the end result. (I understand words have meaning, but we are missing the forest for the trees here.)
"Whether or not they improve is my responsibility. Their responsibililty to is to follow my instructions."
-For some reason, if we were the students, I think guys like you and me would not hold our teacher responsible for our lack of improvement.
"Of course you can appear virtuous without actually being virtuous. Look at all the very many pastors and priests that have fallen into scandal."
-Again, I think it is a non-sensical idea. We need to discuss this one in person (hopefully sooner rather than later!)
"Their moral authority comes from the fact that they live their lives closer to God than the common man. Were that not so, nobody would listen to them."
-What morale authority? I certainly do not give a priest any morale authority just because he is a priest. I judge a person by his actions, period. It doesn't matter what a person's chosen profession is.
"I think I've been pretty clear about the failure of yoga to provide benefits beyond the physical. Whatever calm the yoga practitioner gains through his practice is easily shattered making the study rather pointless in my opinion (beyond the physical)."
-Yes you have...and I totally agree. I never said the practice had a point similar to martial arts. It is very different.
"Polish the character infers some sort of moral value which I don't believe the martial arts impart. It depends on what you come to the arts with. Like Joshua Chamberlain said, "War is the ultimate test of character. It makes good men better and bad men worse." I think that's true of martial arts too. Practicing aikido will not make you a better person. It will make you more of what you already are."
-I disagree completely. You mean to tell me that all of the individuals in MW walked away from that after 6 weeks of intense training without becoming a better person...no matter how "bad" they might have been (Bishop for example, if you remember him).
For some reason, I think you are arguing with me for the sake of argument...
Ha. You know me too well. You got me. Kinda. True, I enjoy the sparring and you are one of my favorite sparring partners. But I think our problems are semantic in nature as they always are.
As the adultery issues goes... what I was trying to say is that there is a difference between choosing not to do something (external) and not wanting to do it (internal). People can only see your behavior. They don't know what's going on inside your head. Take something like cocaine. Some people like it and choose not to do it because they know it's bad. I, however, have no desire to partake at all. It looks the same to someone on the outside (neither person is taking drugs) but I don't want to do it (not susceptible to temptation) while the other person in question is susceptible to temptation. This is the same thing with virtue. There's what other people see and what's happening internally. There are appearances and reality. There is a difference and it's a mistake to confuse the two. True virtue is not resisting the temptation. It's not being tempted at all in the first place.
Funny that you would have said that about practice. Before my injury, I would have agreed with you. But why do I practice now? I'm not going to get better? In fact, it's been kind of depressing seeing how far my skills have declined. I could do other things for exercise but I choose not to because i just like doing martial arts. It has nothign to do with getting better anymore. I just enjoy the activity. Not to be crass but do you have sex so you get better at sex? No. You do it because you enjoy it. While not sex, my enjoyment of MA is similar.
You're right. We are not the type of guys who would hold our teachers responsible for our lack of improvement. However, I'm talking about having a teacher who I could trust implicitly. I didn't have to take responsibility. I only had to follow orders. This is totally different. If a student of mine doesn't improve, it's because he's not listening to me and following my directions. That's his responsibility. If he is earnestly and honestly following my directions and doing what I require and still not improving, well, that's my fault. There's a difference. My students have to have faith that if they follow my directions to the letter, they'll learn the art. I've had too many teachers whom I didn't fully trust and that didn't work at all.
You do not give the priest moral authority becuase you are not a Christian and do not believe in God. If you did, it would be different. You believe in science and you give your doctor medical authority. A priest being a priest-- it is assumed that he has gone through some training and rigor before arriving at his post. Some are better than others but that's true for doctors too.
Lastly using the Marines in Marine Warrior as an example doesn't disprove what I was saying about martial arts. By very virtue of them joining the Corps, they have already shown a level of selflessness uncommon in our Country today. They were all good people to being with. If we were able to make them better people in some small way, then I'm humbled and honored. But we had great material to work with. There's no doubt of that. That's why I hand picked my class and didn't and won't open it to the public.
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